Fear in the Prison of My Own Creation
Yesterday I had a vision during the church service I attended. My vision was set in a simple stone jail cell. On one end of the cell there was a window with metal bars. On the opposite end there was a door, also made of bars. The typical old timey jail cell. In the cell was a person, clinging tightly to the bars of the window, crying out. This person was desperate to be free from the cell and was continuously crying : “Lord save me! Deliver me!” What the person in the cell failed to realize in all their fervent pleading was that just behind them the door to the cell was completely open. Not only was the door open, but there were no guards, nothing to prevent them from leaving. In fact, no one had even put the person in the cell, they had walked in completely on their own choosing.
This vision was prompted by a simple overheard statement. A woman, donned in a mask and distancing herself from everyone, remarked to another that her and her family had been strictly quarantining from all other people and were “safe” to be around.
It’s not an unfamiliar statement, I’ve heard similar utterances again and again over the last few months. I’ve heard complaints from people that they couldn’t see friends or hug their grandchildren. I’ve driven past a church and seen the pastor ministering to a parishioner, both wearing masks and standing a safe and worldly wise distance of six feet apart. I’ve seen “cute” videos online of people modifying shower curtains to hug family through. All because we have been told to be afraid.
Usually I just give an eyeroll and continue on my way, but yesterday I had a revelation of why it bothered me so deeply. When I saw the vision of the cell the Lord revealed to me that many of the people surrounding me were in a prison of their own choosing. They had freely walked into the prison and were refusing to leave. Whether they were aware or not, the door to their prison had never been shut. Instead of leaving though, they sought the Lord for help, which in most situations is the right course, but not this time. What has He to deliver us from if we are already free? I’ve heard so many prayers and petitions go up to the Lord to end coronavirus. Lord end it so we can go back to church as normal! Lord end this disease so we can go back to services in person, we can take the masks off, we can sing in church again!
The church has entered a prison of her own choosing, so quickly giving up her freedom to bend her knee to the world. I do believe in honoring our government and I will champion humility and submission, but it seems like many churches have tucked tail, rolled onto their backs, and completely given up.
“Well we have online services! We are meeting in drive in services! We are still singing 3 songs and preaching a message! We are still doing church!”
I believe long before coronavirus, the church lost what it was to be THE CHURCH. We stopped fellowshipping together, meeting in our homes, interceding together, breaking bread together. We stopped living and interacting as a family united by a common bond and so when a simple virus poked its head up of course it was easy to tuck tail and hide. We want to be back in our old rut, in our comfortable life. We were never sold out for Jesus and now we have even more excuses not to be.
When did we lose the fight and the desire to do everything possible to not only worship and serve our God, but to serve and fellowship with our family? The devil is not working only in the small percentage of deaths and illnesses that have occurred, his true foothold is much greater. The enemy has stirred up fear in the hearts of not only the world, but the church.
I expect it from the world and even understand it. When you do not serve the one true God you are going to fill the gap in your soul with another god. Most often it is our own selves. The world has a desire for control, safety, and comfortability because when they worship themselves they need to do everything possible to protect and serve themselves. I get that.
What has torn me up is the churches closing their doors. The churches requiring the wearing of masks, the churches making people keep back six feet from each other. I understand there are orders and laws in place, but there are creative ways around those laws. There are outdoor spaces to gather, there are home groups that could be had, but we aren’t fighting for that. We are struggling at the window of the cell when the door is wide open.
In Matthew 10 Jesus gives instructions to his disciples as he is sending them out for the first time. The whole chapter is full of gems.
He sent them out in pairs, instructing them to heal the sick, cast out demons, touch the untouchables. How many of us who call ourselves disciples are doing that on a daily basis? I know I’m not!
He instructed them to not only act as innocent as a dove, but to also be as cunning as a snake. More and more I am learning that when the government (at any level from township to federal) says no it just means there is a more creative solution into getting my yes and doing what the Lord asked me to do.
Jesus instructed the disciples not to fear death, but to instead fear the Lord who holds both their life and their soul in his hands. If God does not let a sparrow fall out of the sky without His consent, will He not protect you, who is worth more than a million sparrows? If we are doing the will of the Father what do we have to fear? Death? So what.
I no longer want to be a luke warm Christian who has surrendered to the world and is giving into their fears. If I am not sold out for Christ, if I am not pursuing and worshipping the Father in all things, then I might as well just stop right now. I could be sleeping in and having brunch on Sundays instead of waking up early to go to church. There are a lot of “fun” things I could be doing to serve myself instead of God.
So I have had to ask myself, why sell out for Christ and give up the things of this world if I am not ready to give it all up, including the fear the world tells me I should have?
It’s a question I’m still working through, but maybe you need to ask yourself, too.
Are you in a prison of your own creation, refusing to leave through the open door?
