You Aren’t Me
The other night at an event I was asked to help pray for a person. I wasn’t immediately keen on the idea, seeing as my husband and I had just had one of those silent marital fights where he says something to offend me and because I know it isn’t appropriate to start fighting in front of people I just keep quiet and get angry on the inside. I wasn’t in the mood, but I didn’t have a good reason to say no, so I agreed.
Before I began to pray I asked the Lord for words but wasn’t really hearing anything. Probably because I was still being grumpy at my husband standing next to me. When there are times I don’t hear from the Lord I’ve learned to start prophesying things I know to be true for every person and that usually unblocks the communication and I can flow from there. Because I was still being a little grumpy, I thought of some things that I myself would like to pray over this person. I thought of the negative things I saw in their personality and how to positively spin that to encourage them to change those things. As I was about to open my mouth though, the Lord stopped me.
“I created them to be like that. Don’t you prophesy against that.”
“What?” I questioned in my head. “You created them like that? I don’t like it”.
“I created them to be who they are. Perhaps they need to mature in areas, but those quirks you dislike were put there by me”.
So, knowing the direction I needed to go, I started prophesying the opposite of my original intention to this person, telling them how God created them and their personality to be just how they were and encouraging them to grow and mature in those personality to be who the Lord wants them to be. Who he needs them to be. They were born for this time and place. The quirks I don’t like, the way they do things differently than I do, all of it was created for a purpose.
I’ve been thinking about that for the last couple weeks as I have grown annoyed at others. I’ve been so annoyed lately. I’m annoyed at others who see things differently than me, annoyed at those who believe different things, annoyed at those who are going about things differently.
I’ve been annoyed, but Holy Spirit has been giving me a gentle nagging tug on my heart. I’m annoyed at others because they aren’t me. They don’t think, act, perceive, or process like me and that is annoying. How much more smoothly would things run if you could just do things my way!
The book of Romans has been on my heart especially this week. Particularly chapter 14. If you don’t know what that chapter is about I invite you to take the time to read it. In this chapter Paul is talking to the Roman church about how to behave. He is instructing them to stop fighting about things that don’t matter. To stop arguing about who’s personal belief is the right way and that if your brother believes something differently but is practicing it unto the Lord, let them be. It’s not your job to judge them.
Paul however implores the church to stop provoking each other and if you know someone disagrees with something to stop rubbing it in their face. He then goes on to say in verses 17-19: “The kingdom of God is not a matter of eating or drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and receives human approval. Let us make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification”. NIV
The next section goes on to detail other ways to deal with personal disagreements about trivial things. Paul uses the example of eating in this chapter, but it can be applied to almost anything. Seriously, if you haven’t read it lately, or even ever, take a second to read through it. We all got a bible app on our phones these days.
To me this passage is speaking in this season about my tolerance of others.
I sometimes get upset during worship when I’m the only one dancing with flags and getting wild and everyone else is just sitting with their arms crossed. I was convicted about it this Sunday: we are all individuals, our worship should look different. You shouldn’t dance like a crazy lady if God didn’t call you to. Not everyone acts like me. It’s ok.
I get upset when Christians around me rally to politicians I disagree with. I don’t understand, I don’t get it, and it confuses me. The Lord, and my husband, have been reminding me that it's okay if they believe differently. I still need to love them. Not everyone believes like me. It’s ok.
I get upset when people fight for animal rights, but couldn’t care less about humans. It used to make me venomously angry, but again the Lord has been showing me that not everyone perceives things like I do. There are things people have gone through that I don’t understand and made them fight for something else. They don’t fight for what I fight for. It’s ok.
It’s almost relieving to know it isn’t my job to change anyone to be like me. Get the plank out of my own eye first, right? I can’t make anyone do anything and I have plenty of things to work on myself. The best way to influence change and maturity around me? Do it myself. Don’t just talk about it, live it.
It’s not that I should just accept everyone’s crap they throw at me, it's not that I should just say “You do you, boo!” to everything. It’s coming to an understanding that nobody else is going to do life like me, and that’s ok.
Find the gold in everyone and pull it out.
They are just as important and special as you.
They just aren’t you.
Are you ok with that?
