Killing my Jonah

This morning I was led to the book of Jonah. It's a little book right between Obadiah and Micah. It’s a story that any kid who grew up going to Sunday school knows, perhaps because it is an easy lesson on disobedience and consequences. It’s all I understood about the story, but the book of Jonah is so much more. If you don’t know this story, and even if you do, I’m going to catch you up. 

Jonah was a prophet of the Lord. He lived in Israel during the time of the kings. The story goes: God one day asked Jonah to go to Nineveh, the capital of Assyria, and prophecy to them about their wayward ways. At the time the Assyrians were allied with Israel against God’s wishes. The Assyrians were a wicked and violent people. To many they were still seen as the enemy. 

Jonah, wanting no part in this, attempts to run away from God and heads the exact opposite direction, gaining passage on a ship. God, knowing where Jonah is and his motives, sends a storm that threatens to wreck the ship he is on. Knowing he is the cause, Jonah eventually fesses up and asks the sailors to throw him overboard. 

However, instead of allowing Jonah to die, the Lord sends a great fish to swallow Jonah and gives him another chance. Inside the fish Jonah calls out to the Lord and thanks him for his mercy, but still does not apologize. The Lord responds by having the fish vomit Jonah onto dry land. 

Having taken such a huge detour, Jonah finally makes it to Nineveh and walks throughout the city proclaiming “In forty days Nineveh will be overturned!”. He was proclaiming the bare minimum, not telling the people how to repent, what they should do or even mentioning God, but surprisingly to Jonah, the whole entire city repents and God forgives them. 

Jonah now begins to pout. He tells God to let him die. Jonah tells the Lord his reasoning for not wanting to go in the first place. He knew God is abounding in love and merciful, that he would forgive the sins of the Assyrians. Jonah did not want them to be forgiven. He wanted them to be destroyed. 

Jonah climbs onto a hill overlooking the city, holding onto hope that God may still rain fire and brimstone onto Nineveh. Instead, God sends a vine to grow over where Jonah is sitting to provide him shade. Jonah enjoys this and thanks the Lord for it. However, the next day God sends a worm to eat up the vine and a scorching wind to hammer down on Jonah. Jonah tells God again “I am so angry I could die”. 

This is where God replies for the second time in the book, “Do you have any right to be angry?”. God scolds Jonah and points out his attachment to a vine that he only had for one day. God scolds Jonah for loving his vine more than a whole city of people. That’s how the book ends. We don’t know what happened to Jonah. Maybe the Lord let him die in his anger. Or maybe his heart was softened. 

Either way, whether the events in the book of Jonah actually happened or not, they paint a picture of a haughty follower of God who is disobedient and has his priorities all mixed up. The book also asks us the question: Are you ok with God loving your enemies?

I realized I have a Jonah inside of me. 

Yesterday I saw something that rekindled a burning hatred in my heart for someone that wronged me. Someone who spread vicious lies about me, my husband, and my businesses. Someone who stole thousands of dollars. Someone who never repented and only apologized half heartedly in an attempt to avoid legal consequences. Someone I view as an enemy, wishing they were dead. Someone who in the view of this world I have every right to hate. 

“Lord!” I cried out in my heart, “why have I not seen justice yet?” The Lord responded to me. He asked me if I truthfully wanted to see this man get what he deserved. He asked me if I actually wanted to see this man die. He reminded me that this man does not serve Him. Were he to die right now, this man would spend eternity cast out. Was I still angry enough about the lost money and the slight against our reputation to wish eternal damnation on another human being? Even though the Lord has already redeemed to us what this person stole, do I still need to see him suffer?

Am I ok with God loving my enemies? The Jonah inside, the dramatic, human, spiteful Jonah said no. I’m not ok with it. 

My Jonah wants to keep me bitter, keep me resentful and unforgiving. The enemy wants my Jonah to keep thriving. The more I pour into my Jonah, the farther I get from the Lord. God has forgiven me of many, many grievous sins, can’t I forgive another person, a soul just as precious and loved as me? Shouldn’t I pray for the salvation and repentance of this person over his destruction? 

I need to kill my Jonah. 

Today, I will take a deep breath and forgive. This isn’t the first time I have been through this emotional and spiritual cycle surrounding this person. Anger, repentance, forgiveness. 

But, maybe forgiveness isn’t a one-time event. Maybe forgiveness is an ongoing position of my heart, one that needs to be refocused from time to time. The little Jonah inside doesn’t want to see that happen. Jonah hated forgiveness. 

My Jonah needs to go.