Peace in the Chaos
I often get the most thoughtful time with the Lord while I’m doing the necessary, mundane tasks that keep my world afloat. Driving, doing dishes, vacuuming, scrubbing floors and even shoveling snow, which I do a lot of living in one of the snowiest cities in the country.
Wednesday morning was no exception. This week has been chaos for my husband and myself. We have a major construction project going on, I’m up to my eyeballs in tax preparations and bookkeeping, and we both are attempting to continue working our “day jobs” full time, because all these grand dreams cost money. Not to mention finding time to workout, cook healthy meals, run errands and take care of a three year old. All while battling a cold that won’t go away. I could list a dozen more things happening to me that made me grumpy this week, but I won’t. All you need to understand is that by Wednesday morning as I was trekking to work early in order to shovel everything out, I was in an internal rage.
Peace was nowhere in site for me. There was no room for it in my mind as I internally was cursing out those around me who weren’t pulling their weight or expecting too much from me. Cursing at the stupid snow and the tantrum my daughter was throwing over the dress she picked out and then changed her mind about. It brought us both to tears. Cursing all the responsibilities piled on me with no recognition. I work my butt off, does anyone even notice? Or care?
On an on I went back in forth in my mind as I shoveled. I was engaged in a massive pity party. It was everyone else’s fault. Almost all of what I was upset about was completely out of my control. It’s not fair. I can’t keep living like this anymore. I can’t stand this chaos.
Yet, despite all the complaining, cursing, and internal yelling, the voices of two very wise men suddenly pierced through my rage.
The first was a quote from Bill Johnson, who once said something to the effect of “You can’t give thanks and complain at the same time”.
The other was my husband, who just before leaving at the crack of dawn that morning had taken the time to tell me: “Think of just five things you are thankful for today”. Earlier, when he said that, I had given him the middle finger in my mind. However, I couldn’t stop thinking about his challenge.
I paused my laborious snow removal to think about those two statements. What was I thankful for? Was there anything to be grateful for right now? In the midst of my anger and bitterness I had let my thought life run wild and it had taken any hint of gratitude or peace with it.
In 1st Thessalonians chapter 5 Paul wrote to the church some simple instructions:
Acknowledge those who work hard among you and hold them in high regard because of their work
Live in peace with each other
Warn those who are idle or disruptive
Encourage the disheartened
Help the weak
Be patient with EVERYONE
Do not pay back wrong for wrong
Always strive to do what is good for each other and everyone else.
Rejoice ALWAYS
Pray CONTINUALLY
All things I need to practice more and implement in my daily life, but this is the one that matters most right now:
11. In ALL circumstances, give thanks.
Giving thanks in the chaos. Being thankful for the portion I have been given, even when I don’t feel qualified to handle it. Giving thanks when my toddler loses her marbles, because it is an opportunity for me to teach her. Giving thanks for our businesses. Giving thanks for the ability to do my own bookkeeping, even if I feel like its killing me. Giving thanks for alone time spent shoveling snow. Giving thanks for just waking up this morning.
As my list of things to be thankful for grew, my complaints disappeared. Thirty minutes and a clean sidewalk later I went back to work a different woman. The battle in my mind had been won and I continued on with my day at peace, despite the chaos, despite my circumstances being exactly the same.
I was at peace, because I gave thanks.
