Must Like Sushi

It was a cold January afternoon in 2013. I was on my way to carry out an annual tradition: getting a birthday tattoo. There was a new tattoo shop, just opened, and I had heard raving reviews about the owner. On my way to the shop I was looking at reviews on my phone and realized the owner’s nickname was “Sugabear”. 

I’d heard that name before. I met him at another shop years ago and he flirted with me. He was pretty cute, too. Being in the midst of a divorce, only two months out from leaving my ex-husband, I was on the prowl. It crossed my mind that perhaps I could get more than just a tattoo out of this situation.

I made my way up the snow covered steps through the front door and into the lobby. Once inside Joel met me at the counter. “You a little nervous?” He asked. I looked down to see my entire chest flushed bright red. It was safe to assume my face was colored to match. It’s an embarrassing trait of mine. When upset or nervous my chest and face bust out in bright red splotches.

I told him I wanted a koi tattoo on my left arm. I told him I had heard he was the only person in Erie doing good Japanese work. He told me no. I couldn't have a koi. My face grew even hotter. He then explained if I wanted a little tattoo on my arm I could have a goldfish, not a koi. 

We set the appointment for a week out, two days before my 23rd birthday. He called me the night before to ask about a detail in the tattoo. I flushed with nervousness just talking to him on the phone. Why was I getting like that? I usually had no problem talking, or flirting, with men. 

The day of my appointment came. He showed me the design and had me come back to his station. We made small talk and our conversation flowed easy. We talked about our mutual love for antiques and Japanese culture. We talked about music we liked and vintage cars. I told him about my job as a nurse and made sure he was aware that I was on the market. We chatted the whole appointment, until the conversation took a turn. 

I had seen on his personal facebook profile during my online stalking that he was a drummer on a worship team. This guy was a Christian. The religion I grew up in. Knowing this I told him about how I used to be on several worship teams, but that had been taken away from me and I was having a hard time at my church. 

To my surprise, Joel started lecturing me! He started prophesying to me about my heart turning from the Lord and the decision I needed to make. Either come back to Jesus or completely walk away. I started crying. I barely knew this guy, and I was crying in front of him while he was tattooing me!

“Why are you crying?” He asked. 

“Because you are a stranger and you seem to care more than any of my friends” I replied. 

The session ended, we scheduled another appointment.

That night he texted me, asking how my tattoo was doing and if I had any idea where he could find some seating for his new lobby. I actually had something that would fit perfectly and let him know. I knew that night that I could marry him. 

Joel and I talked every day. Not about anything romantic or sexual. He held me at arms length. He wanted to just be my friend. 

What I have learned in bits and pieces over the years is that Joel had been waiting for his wife. The Lord told him once he started his business his wife would come to him. Joel had pursued many women, but none matched perfectly to what he saw in a wife. He didn’t know much, but knew he was going to marry a divorced woman and that she had to love sushi. 

I went to church with him that first Sunday and he dumped me off with a woman who is still a dear friend, Megan. Sweet Megan who goes with the flow welcomed me with open arms. I had an encounter that Sunday. I desperately needed one. My encounter wasn’t just with the Lord. I encountered a church family that exuded love. They were the most weirdly genuine people I had ever met. They were so kind and friendly. They loved on me, someone they barely knew. 

I had gone to churches all my life and had no idea that this was what love could be like. I also didn't know that this was secretly a group date day planned out by Joel to determine if I could actually be his wife. We went bowling and then had sushi. His friends liked me. I liked sushi. I passed the test. 

Two weeks to the day after my first appointment he tattooed me again. A frog on my foot. We had another conversation, one where we decided that we were getting married and would pursue it after my divorce finalized. 

On April 8, 2013 my divorce paperwork came in the mail. We got engaged. 

July 5, 2013 we said I do. 

What blows me away is that in my darkest moments, during the days that I pulled away and cursed God, He still loved me. Not only was He still loving me, but He loved me so much that he was aligning everything to bring me all the desires of my heart. He gave me everything I needed in a husband. Things I had prayed for and things I had no idea I even wanted. Things I didn’t think I deserved.

In the first 6 months of 2013 my life was changed. 

I went from a broken, abused, jaded woman to a cherished wife.

I went from an agnostic pulling further and further away from a religion I knew only as a facade to a sold out follower of Jesus. 

I went from feeling desperately unloved to knowing my worth. 

And to think, that was just the beginning. 

I guess it’s a good thing I like sushi.